Monday, July 30, 2012

One Year in Oregon: A Retrospective



As of Wednesday, I will have been in Oregon for one full year.  This time last year, I had meant to be starting to drive up; instead, I spent the whole day packing my brother’s and nephew’s stuff into the moving truck, asymptotically approaching done as we got more and more exhausted.  That evening, I slept at their place; the next day, we finished up the last bits of packing and drove off to the first and only July rain I have ever seen in Los Angeles – its own special good-bye, it seemed – and made it up to around Redding before stopping at a Motel 6.  The next day, August 1st, my Oregon anniversary, we crossed the border and made it to my apartment complex just barely too late for them to let me check in, so I stayed at my brother and nephew’s new place for one last night before moving in.  I moved in on August 2nd.
So yesterday is the anniversary of the day I moved all my earthly goods out of my parents’ house and struck out on my own, though my Oregon anniversary is only almost here.  Seems like a good time for a retrospective.
So here’s some highlights of the year, some things I’ve learned about Oregon, some changes I’ve noticed in myself… all thrown together in one jumbled rambling retrospective.  One year down.
Hiking.  I’ve sure done it a lot more now.
Oregon drivers think inconsiderate drivers are people who give them a tiny jolt of extra adrenaline.  Los Angeles drivers (including myself) think inconsiderate drivers are people who drive down a one-lane road, or the fast lane of a wider road, at 5 mph under the (low) speed limit when there’s nothing particularly interesting going on in front of them.  Or exactly at the speed limit, for that matter.
I now know where the controls for my car’s bright headlights are.
Layers are such useful things. 
Yeah, those stories about people who live in cold climates actually having their bodies change to compensate?  Apparently it’s true.  My temperature sense is way closer to a normal Angeleno’s now.  Of course, I’m still not much for the cold by Oregonian standards.
Last year, I didn’t know I was anemic.  This year, I know… and thanks to iron, I’m running faster than I ever have before.
Yogurt-based fruit smoothies are some of the most delicious things ever.  I can practically feel them nourishing me.  And what do you know, eating a large quantity of fruits and vegetables seems to really help one feel healthy.  Who’d have thought?
A new sister-in-law!  Such a beautiful wedding.  Getting all 13 of us siblings together for the first time in almost 19 years was a nice highlight too!
Last year, I had danced only a low single-digit number of times.  Now I am quite decent at English country dancing.  ^__^
Last year, I knew all the theory, but I knew very little about how electrical engineering… works… in practice.  Now I know so much more about that side of things.  I’m a professional RTL coder, I am.
Cleaning an apartment where you live alone is not automatic, but it is *much* easier than cleaning a rambling old two-story house with a basement in Los Angeles where you grew up with a huge family.  And in either place, FlyLady is your friend.
REI is your friend.
On an Oregon hike, you shouldn’t wear jeans.  This is completely counterintuitive to me.
The air is always fresh, always clean – though it might have a little pollen in the spring and mildew in the winter, still, no smog.  Ever.
Oh, In-N-Out, I miss you.
Flaggers are crazy.  Oregon is crazy.  Seriously, I’m pretty sure our lives would be happier up here if they rerouted traffic.  But no, it’s more fun to hire someone to stand there and BREAK EVERYTHING.
Sure is nice, having freeway meters where they stagger the greens so one lane gets green at a time, instead of turning it into a game of chicken…
Balls.  Dinners at Shari’s.  Bible study.  Tutoring some wonderful kids and eating dinner with their wonderful families.  Camping trips – two of them. 
I’ve gone from less than nothing (in debt to my dad) to five figures in my bank account.  And stock and a 401k and health insurance all my own, no less.  While upping my standard of living significantly, furnishing my apartment, obtaining cold weather clothes, etc.
I can sure be extroverted when I live alone… and I sure spend more time on Facebook that way.
Reading in the woods is *splendid.*  My apartment is *splendid.*
Friends – It’s so strange to realize that this time last year, I didn’t know all these wonderful Oregonians.  I have been blessed, no question.
Dilbert is a documentary.  ;)
God is faithful… again and again.  A thousand times I’ve failed; still Your mercy remains.
Portland is a beautiful town, er, city.  I never get over the view on the bridge over the Willamette.  And the forest around the city… there are no words.  The river, the forest, the mountains, the elegant buildings and public art, all combine to make it incredible.
The Gorge: the Columbia River Gorge, a.k.a. Land O’ the Best Hikes EVAR.
Powell’s Books.  ‘Nuff said.
I never dreamed apples could taste so good.
I know my Oregon geography better now, though it’s certainly no match for my Los Angeles and California geography…
I had people call me brave.  Interesting to move and see how far you’ve come – a few years back, I don’t think anyone would have thought me brave.  I was always the girl of a thousand crippling fears.
Adults have so many choices.  So incredibly many choices.
Mostly I guess I’ve learned that I can do this living on my own thing, even a thousand miles from home, by God’s grace, and it’s scary and it’s a big change and it takes so much work and planning, but it’s also exciting, rewarding, satisfying. 
No, this doesn’t sum up the year, not nearly… but it’s something to honor this occasion, at least.
Here’s to many more such years.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes,
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylight, in moonlight, in starlight, in cups of coffee,
In inches, in miles, in laughter and strife?
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes,

How do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? 

Measure in love.  
Seasons of love.

-
"Seasons of Love," Rent (from memory, so may not be verbatim)

(Though this is a leap year, so that should really be five hundred twenty-seven thousand, forty minutes.)

Monday, July 2, 2012

Believe. Act. Receive by grace.


Today I heard an almost-true sermon.
Or, well, hm, how shall I put this?  I’m not sure that the pastor is wrong.  I am sure that the nuances I noticed him say today (and I was zoned out for just enough of his sermon, thinking about things like these nuances, that I probably did not notice every relevant thing he said) are things that are very scripturally problematic.  I am worried that people believe those problematic nuances.
I wouldn’t be surprised if when I’m done saying what I think here, a lot of other people think that this has scripturally problematic nuances.  Because I am pretty sure that there are actual disagreements here.
And by the way, I’ve changed my mind about this since I was a small child, so I really wouldn’t be surprised if other people disagree – I did.
I do also have a pretty strong opinion here.  Yes, I think I’m right.  That’s kind of the definition of having an opinion at all...
I’m not sure I’ll even present what the “other side” is, though.  I think I’ll simply say what it is I think.  Maybe the pastor would in fact agree with what I write here.  I’m not sure.  I’ll leave you to find places you disagree and decide after reading whether you still disagree.  “Picking sides” can be profitable, but it isn’t always, and here I think it would not be.
Rest assured that the pastor’s sermon was not totally heretical like a great many possible disagreements from what I’m about to say would be.  I’m trying to write many of the basics of the Christian faith, but with the nuances which I believe, not the nuances I heard in the sermon today.  The disagreement is not in the main point, but in subtleties.  “Mere Christianity” still stands as one for the vast majority of this.
Really I’m using this sermon more as a prompt, a leaping-off point, than as a thing to argue against.
Without further ado:

All of God’s gifts are gifts we receive by grace, and almost all are gifts which we must also believe and act in order to receive.
How does that tension work?
As Dr. Reynolds once said in a lecture (paraphrased from my memory), God sees our feeble efforts, our faintest stirrings of reaching toward Him, and He says, “That’s enough!  Just a little righteousness!  I’ll treat you as if you were as righteous as My Son.”
Belief and good actions do not mean that we merit God’s good gifts.  They do not mean that we earned them.  We did not.  We aren’t even close.
God in His goodness multiplies our efforts so far beyond what we could ever earn.
We are given eternal salvation, justification, the Holy Spirit living inside us, answers to prayers, and incredible assistance in living well each day, all simply when we believe that Jesus is Lord and begin to intend to serve Him.  That belief should not make us feel smug or righteous.  All our righteousness is as filthy rags, but he washes us and dresses us in bright robes of his own.  Our feeble effort does not come close to paying for our sin.
Yet that feeble effort is the price God requires.  He asks for belief and, yes, for the intent to serve Him.  Is that enough?  Not even close, except by the work Christ did on the cross – the most absurd extremity of grace.  Can we congratulate ourselves on this salvation?  No, no, a thousand times no!  Can we even say we are better than those who do not believe?  No, no, all have sinned, all have offended God abominably, and do you truly believe that under no circumstances would you fail to believe in Jesus?  If so, you are quite deluded.
Believe, act, and receive by grace a life superabundantly beyond anything you could ever earn.
Your salvation?  Believe, act, and receive by grace what for all your efforts, you did not earn.
Knowledge of Scripture?  Believe, act, and receive by grace what for all your efforts, you did not earn.  No one can deserve the blessing of knowing God’s words to humanity and seeing how it can aid us today.  No one can deserve the promptings of the Holy Spirit as to how God’s words to, say, King David affect how we live today.  But by God’s grace, and, yes, a boatload of study, many people do achieve a great knowledge of Scripture.  They did not study enough to earn it, but God chose to bless their study with knowledge.
A happy marriage?  Believe, act, and receive by grace what for all your efforts, you did not earn.  (And if, like me, you have no such thing, do not curse God as if you had earned it and He withheld it.)  No one can deserve to possess and be possessed by another soul in love.  But many do receive that, by God’s grace and, yes, a boatload of hard work and faithfulness – but not nearly enough hard work and faithfulness to earn it.
Contentment in all circumstances?  Believe, act, and receive by grace what for all your efforts, you did not earn.  No one can deserve the knowledge that we are God's children and He will give us what we really need.  No one can deserve to be taken care of by the love of the omnipotent creator.  No one can deserve the "peace that passes understanding" - yet as Paul said when talking about how he had learned to be content with little or with much, "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" - with only a little belief and trust and the grace of God, we can receive contentment.  Christ strengthens us, and our little effort is multiplied a thousandfold in its effects.
God gives sun and rain to the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you want to produce a large crop you had better do some work… and acknowledge that however much you work, that crop is still a gift, that only by God’s incredible power and aid does a seed become a plant.  We plant and God gives the growth.
Believe, act, and receive by grace.  All those things belong together.  They are not contradictory.  We are not saved by works we do.  We are not saved because our faith pleased God so much He realized it just wouldn’t be right to withhold salvation from such stalwart souls.  Yet by God’s grace, we are saved through faith.  Have faith, and as James says, help the widow and the orphan; do good in God’s name.  Be humbled by God’s great mercy and by the wonder of the cross.  Never believe you have earned the smallest gift, but never stop working out your salvation with fear and trembling.  It is God who works in you.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.  Holy Spirit, help me to do Your will.  Father in heaven, how You have blessed me, how You love me, how gracious You are!  O God, I can never thank You enough, but that does not mean I should give up saying it.  Thank You, thank You, a thousand times thank You!  For Your Son, for life itself, for sustaining me with joy, for leading me to Oregon, for sun and rain, for evergreen trees, for my family, for laughter, for health, for pain which leads me toward holiness, for comfort in sorrow, for men and women who showed me what it is to love You, for Scripture, for the Holy Spirit, for answers to prayer at my lowest points.  You are Lord.  Give me the courage and the will to honor You.