Friday, June 8, 2018

Pressure

Pressure
  is
    one small clog
      in
        just
          the wrong place

Pressure
  is
    the unbearable
      ache
    the knowing
      that something
        must
          give

Pressure
  is
    the feeling
      that you
        must
          sneeze
    ah-
      ah-
        ah-
    and never
      a
        choo

Pressure
  is
    a full schedule
      and one more thing
        to do

Pressure
  is
    sudden
      responsibility
        and no one
          to teach you

Pressure
  is
    perfectionism
      without
        prioritization

Pressure
  is
    the fear
      that no one
        could
          love
            inadequate
              weak
                sick
                  incomplete
                    you

Pressure
  is
    the whine
      of a tea kettle
        when you
          must
            take
              it
                off
                  the heat
                    now

Pressure
  is
    how
      a volcano
        erupts

Pressure
  is
    what
      kills
        an astronaut
          from within
        and a diver
          from without

Pressure
  is
    how
      to cook
        much
          faster
        than seems
          quite
            possible

Pressure
  is
    how
      coal
        becomes
          a diamond

Pressure
  is
    how
      we fill
        our lungs
          with air

Pressure
  is
    how
      we
        slurp up
          water

Pressure
  is
    how
      we swallow
        our food

Pressure
  is
    how
      we
        massage away
          our worries

Pressure
  is
    how
      we
        wrap
          our loved ones
            in our arms

Pressure
  is
    how
      tires
        become
          strong
        and carry us
          where we
            need
              to be

Pressure
  is
    the
      force
        of our hopes

Pressure
  is
    the gap
      between
        our longing
          and
            reality

Too much
  and
    we
      burst

Too little
  and
    we cannot
      move

Monday, January 1, 2018

It Came In Beauty

The old year ended
In beauty

Pale clouds glowing in the night sky
Thin yet rounded
Drops of diluted watercolors from a masterful brush
Brightening, not darkening, the sky

The moon full and bright
Sailing high above the world
Shining between and sometimes through
Those lightly veiling clouds

Between the veils were the stars
Twinkling faint and remote
Piercing in their beauty

A faint moonbow surrounded the moon
Delicate color in the white light

"Do we look at the stars
Because we are human
Or are we human
Because we look at the stars?"

When first I read Stardust
I thought it a foolish question
Obviously
We look at the stars
Because we are human
Or everyone in LA
Is only half-human

But now I think
Perhaps that conclusion
Is not so absurd after all

Something shifted in me
That night in the desert
When first I saw the stars

But it is not only Angelenos
Who have forgotten
How to be human

The new year came in beauty
But how many were looking?

Something shifts in me
When I see the stars
A longing that has nothing to do with space
And everything to do with heaven

The new year came in beauty
And Beauty will save the world

Monday, July 10, 2017

The Unused Staircase

There is a staircase down to the train tracks
Not a station -
  Just the tracks.
It's miles from a station.

There are no sidewalks
  and nothing on the other side of the tracks -
  just a fence and the freeway.

Probably no one ever uses
  those charming metal stairs
  bright and quaint
  on a rocky hill
  with a lush green park at the top.

If the train would stop here
  I would climb them and explore
But the train never stops here

Who was the last person to use those stairs?
Who will use them next? Will anyone?
Why were they built -
  those bright quaint stairs?

Long may they endure
  speaking silently
    of imaginary adventures
      that shall never be

Friday, January 29, 2016

We May Always Love

I may love him, I may love him, for he is a man, and I am only a beech-tree.  -Phantastes

Today I finished reading Phantastes by George MacDonald for the first time.  Beautiful book.  Read it.  I had no choice but to try to write poetry after reading it; so here is my best attempt at a tribute poem.  I wish I were better at poems with actual rhyme and meter; that would be more appropriate for a Phantastes poem; but I comfort myself with memory of Anodos' own disclaimers, that his poems are just poor shadows of what he found in Faerie.

We may love, we may love,
we may always love -
Only not to claim, and grasp, and own.
We may yearn, we may yearn,
we may always yearn -
Yet for their good, and their heart's home.
We may treasure them up in our heart,
And we may pray, we may pray,
we may always pray
That they may find mercy.

Yet we may not always serve,
For our service may be a burden.
Not for us to give milk to the child of another,
When for its own mother's breast it cries.
Not for us to wait upon every desire
When our beloved does not need yet another toy.
Not for us to throw ourselves at the feet of one we love
When his own wife already stands by his side.
But we may love, we may love,
we may always love,
And be glad every time another we love finds his dear companion,
And feel sweet pleasure to see him holding his child,
And pray with tears of love for all.

We may love, we may love,
we may always love,
And into such love no jealousy or hurt can enter,
Only compassion, and concern, and tender pain.

Offer your services where they are wanted and needed,
But love widely - love more widely than your steps can ever go.
Love the one weeping in the arms of her mother,
But hold to your bosom the weeping child who has no other.
Love those in distant corners of the world;
Love those who sit on street corners;
Love those who have died long ago;
Love those yet to be born.
Love the suffering, love the blissful,
Love the weak, love the strong,
Love those with needs you have no way to solve,
Love those you have no right to embrace.
Love those who flee from you;
Love those who spit upon you;
Love those who curse the name of your God -
Love all and serve whom you can.

You will find enough, and more than enough,
That your hand may do.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

In Honor of Destruction of the Ring Day / Annunciation

On this day we celebrate an unlikely hero.
Someone simple, innocuous, someone we never would have picked out as a hero.
But our hero was much greater than we would have known.
Our hero was chosen to rescue mankind from a dangerous plight.
Following through was difficult, painful.
But our hero humbly, quietly, did exactly what was required.

"I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way."
"Behold the bondservant of the Lord!  Let it be to me according to your word."

On this day the Shadow is defeated.
On this day humankind is saved from the Enemy.
On this day the stronghold of the evil one is cast down and he can no longer rule the earth.
On this day heaven has come to earth, and nothing shall ever be the same.

"Long live the Halflings! Praise them with great praise!"
"Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb!"



"Sing now, ye people of the Tower of Anor,
for the Realm of Sauron is ended for ever,
and the dark tower is thrown down.

"Sing and rejoice, ye people of the Tower of Guard,
for your watch hath not been in vain,
and the Black Gate is broken,
and your King hath passed through,
and he is victorious.

"Sing and be glad, all ye children of the West,
for your King shall come again,
and he shall dwell among you
all the days of your life.

"And the Tree that was withered shall be renewed,
and he shall plant it in the high places,
and the City shall be blessed.

"Sing all ye people!"

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Failures of the invisible hand

It’s true that self-interest in its place, used well and with the right limits, can be a force in society which is very powerful for the advancement of the economy, for human innovation, and for the comforts we enjoy in America today.  Such is the invisible hand doctrine and we can see that it has achieved some pretty big victories.  Everyone looks out for themselves and everyone benefits.
I think it’s time we acknowledged, though, that sometimes there are behaviors for which no one pays a price except everyone, and others from which no one benefits except everyone.
That is, there are plenty of things you could do that wouldn’t benefit you – that don’t make sense for you – but which would benefit the world, benefit society.  There are plenty of things that wouldn’t harm you – that make perfect sense for you – but which would cause a cost to humanity, to society.  And in those circumstances, the invisible hand malfunctions.  The invisible hand guides us powerfully toward those harms and away from those benefits.
Oh, there is good in people’s hearts, and when it’s called to our attention, sometimes behaviors that don’t make economic or individual sense become commonplace anyway.  (As long as it’s not too much trouble.)  And we have in many cases made laws which instead of promoting strict capitalism are designed to promote prosperity by, as it were, pushing the invisible hand back in the right direction.  Laws against behaviors where we find self-interest leads to intolerable inequities.  Tax revenues into things we think help everyone and taxes on things we think hurt everyone.  Etc., etc.
I’ll add that in many cases, the cure is worse than the disease.  Someone can easily make a law to fix a problem, to give the invisible hand a shove, and discover that there are unintended consequences which are worse than the original problem.  Hence long stories about government incompetence and the legend that it really needs to just leave us alone.
But the invisible hand left entirely alone is not a magical force for good.  Let’s not forget that.  Let’s not think that everything would be hunky-dory if the government would just let us engage in the free market with no restrictions whatsoever.  And let’s not forget that sometimes we need to appeal to people’s consciences, to guide them against just their own self-interest and toward the interests of the whole.  Unbridled capitalism could, in a society of good people, be a fine enough thing.  In a society where if it is legal, if capitalism will allow it to you, and if it is in your own self-interest, then everyone will declare it to be not merely legal but good – in that society, unbridled capitalism is death.  Literally death for the poorest, for those who cannot compete.  Death for the crippled, death for the retarded, death for the young children whose parents cannot support them.

Time to stop being abstract.  Time to give one concrete example of what the invisible hand has done to our society.  Just one.  There are many others I could add, but here’s one.
Advertising.
Imagine your life without advertisements.
Imagine that if you were looking for a given product, you could learn the facts about it, but no company would ever bombard you with emotional appeals about how much your life would be better if you only had this thing.
Imagine if there were no billboards.  No pop-up ads.  No spam.  No telemarketers.  No public landmarks or sports events covered in ugly endorsements.  No commercials. 
Now, I grant that marketing is what pays for at least a large percentage of a great many other things we enjoy in life.  For Google, for TV broadcasts, for so much more.
I also grant that once in a blue moon, I’ve actually seen an advertisement for a product I genuinely wanted and wouldn’t otherwise have known existed.  Something that, when I paid for it, I was truly glad I had.
But let me ask you:  If you could eradicate all advertisements from your life, what would you pay for that?
Consider this:  Because of self-interest, because the company wants, needs, for consumers to know about their product, it’s good for them to distribute the information widely.  Because once in a blue moon, they’ll hit me with something I want and I’ll pay for it, they’ll continue hitting me with hundreds of things I have no interest in.  As long as they pay less for a given advertisement than the profit they make off the products sold, they win.
What’s the key problem here?  They don’t need to pay me for my time, for the annoyance, for the waste that they caused me.  Telemarketing companies don’t need to pay for the productivity cost, for the destructiveness in family life they cause by calling at the wrong times, for the stress and the unpleasantness.  The only financial cost they have is the cost of using the phone lines and paying the telemarketers.  They don’t pay any cost to the people they hurt with their activity.  Meanwhile, they have financial rewards from literally everyone they benefit and likely some people they didn’t benefit.  (The latter would be people whom the product doesn’t really help, at least not more than whatever competition they were considering, but who were convinced by the rhetoric, emotional appeals, etc. to buy it anyway.)
I’ve seen and heard a few ads I was glad for, ads that got me to buy products that I was glad to have, products that were worth the price.  But I would happily give those products up if by doing so I could have an ad-free life.
That just considers the annoyance I face.  What of the social harm advertisements do?
Unrealistic expectations of female beauty.  Anorexia.  Rape.  Objectivication of women.
Materialism.  Greed.  Selfishness.  Inability to delay gratification.  Addictions.  Lack of discipline.  Dissatisfaction.  Ingratitude.
What if the advertising industry had to take responsibility for the women who starved themselves to death in part because of the things advertisers did to sell products?  What price could atone for that?  What price could make up for the slow poison of the constant fostering of the belief that things will make you happy?
If you could eradicate all advertisements from your life and the lives of all those you come in contact with, what would that be worth?

I’m not sure what the best solution is.  I’m not sure if there is a good solution.  But I am sure that when it comes to advertising, the invisible hand is not our friend.

Monday, September 16, 2013

A Rhythm of Gratitude

Once upon a time, back in my college days, someone suggested that maybe the days in Genesis 1 were symbolic, that maybe it didn’t have to literally refer to 24-hour periods.  I objected, which might well be a reasonable thing to do (I withhold judgment), but my reason was certainly bad:  I couldn’t see what the symbolism could possibly be in saying that, for example, sea and sky were created on the second day.  And that was just blindness.

Then, about a couple months back, just for fun, I started thinking of the days of the week, not just in terms of their names in our calendar, but in terms of what was made on each day.  Sunday is Lightday.  Monday is Seaday or Skyday or Waterday.  Tuesday is Landday or Plantsday or Treesday or Fruitday.  Wednesday is – wait for it – Sunday (I know!) or Moonday or Starsday.  Thursday is Fishday or Birdsday.  Friday is Animalday or, more often, Manday.  (Humanday or Peopleday is better, but Manday has more of a ring to it.)  Saturday is Restday.  Well, almost.  Since “evening and morning were the __th day,” Manday is really Thursday evening through Friday at sunset, for example.  Every time I think of the calendar name for a day of the week, I try to pause and think of this Genesis 1 name, too. 

I expected it to be a vaguely fun, interesting thing to do.  But I wasn’t really expecting the result.

I’m not sure I have ever in my life been more grateful for Creation.  It’s such a simple thing, but now every time I think the name of the day, I think of something God made.  And every week is a progression, first setting the stage, then bursting forth into life, and every Restday is a day for happy peaceful contemplation of the wonder of it all.  It’s a weekly rhythm of gratitude, and I love participating in it.

As an added bonus, I thought it was kind of awesome to suddenly realize that Christ was crucified and died (thus recreating mankind, if you listen to Athanasius) on Manday, lay in the grave on Restday, and arose very early in the morning, before the sun had risen, on Lightday.

Have a good week, and enjoy the wonder of Creation.  Landday/Plantsday has just begun, so think of mountains and forests and flowers and herbs and fruits and grains and vegetables, and be thankful.